INNER CHALLENGES

 

Kristina Testa Buzzee

September 23, 2001

 

 

Good Morning and Once again, welcome to All Souls. My name is Kristina Testa-Buzzee, and am President of the congregation. As you have heard this is Lay Sunday and we are the Board of Trustees. In keeping with the tradition, the President has the opportunity to deliver the sermon and I do so with great honor. Before I begin I would like to take a moment to thank my fellow board members, the staff, the ministers for a wonderful church year. Working with these individuals has been truly rewarding. Most of all, I would like to thank you the congregation for this humbling experience to serve as president of such a spectacular Church.

When I finally sat down and thought about what I, a lay member could possibly say that could inspire you, make you laugh, maybe even cry or encourage personal reflection I decided I would simply do my best to talk with you from my heart.

I want to talk to you about 4 different challenges I think people especially Unitarians Universalists are confronted with.

First lets look at the challenge of being open-minded. Now I am the first person to admit that this is incredibly challenging, being truly open-minded implies considering even the most contradictory of views. We are a self-described denomination that is all accepting and all respecting but do we follow through in our actions? Just out of curiosity, do we all assume or expect we have the same political affiliations? What about the great number of interfaith couples we have? The shear term interfaith recognizes two faiths coming together. So should my husband or I, an interfaith couple, feel self-conscious to say that we chose to "baptize" and dedicate our son Sean? Do we recognize and honor the differences in the socioeconomic status of our members. I do have faith that as a congregational family we can do this through our public, social justice programs or simply through our individual actions. This would not be a congregation filled with open minds if it did not include a wide representation of political as well as religious views. We indeed are a broad mix of Democrats, Republicans, Greens, and Independents. The same thing goes for religious backgrounds. Not only do we stem from Catholic, Protestant, and Jewish Backgrounds. Several of our new members are Muslim, Hindu and Buddhist in background as well. This is a wonderful thing for all of us and will make All Souls a stronger religious institution.

May I remind you of something we heard earlier in the readings of the Unitarian Universalist principles we "covenant to affirm and promote…"

• The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
• Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
• Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
• Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

Clearly these principles are not for the closed minded.

The next challenge, standing outside the box, I would like to illustrate with a personal story. When I was 11 years old, a police officer arrived in the middle of the night to tell my family that a drunk driver had killed my 24-year-old brother, Andrew. I remember listening on the stairway clutching one of the many stuffed animals my brother had given me. I sat and listened as my father spoke with the police officer. My mother was upstairs thinking we had to go to a hospital to see Andrew. I remember her reaction when she realized it wouldn’t be necessary. The next thing I remember is waiting for the police to pick up my sister and bring her to the house. I wanted to see her and couldn’t wait inside. I can still remember the night sky and the stuffed animal that I was clinging to. I was just about 12 and very much a little girl, yet I knew I needed to be strong for my mom and dad and sister. It was only a few years after that that I was leading a very public crusade in my hometown of Norwalk Connecticut against drunk driving among teenagers and adults. From a young age I knew I was comfortable in leadership roles, having responsibilities and being in the public arena — not a common occurrence among 15-year-olds. On the surface this experience propelled me into adult hood. Responsibility became my middle name and I wanted to try to fix the world. Also, I became a little self-righteous and began to isolate myself from my peers. After all who wants to invite the classmate who was on the radio saying, "raise the drinking age" to a Friday night party when the parents weren’t home. Luckily I have wonderful parents and a great sister who helped me understand that this was OK and helped instill confidence in me so that I could deal with the peer pressure and stand outside the box. A few years ago during a death, dying and bereavement training I was attending, the facilitators pointed out that when young people our confronted with death they often use their experiences to help others and excel in community affairs. It made so much sense to me, I recognized myself immediately. The experience of my brother’s death foreshadowed much of the person I have become. Don’t get me wrong, at 34 I still have a long way to go but I have followed a pattern of accepting responsibility for better or worse. This experience taught me it is OK to stand outside the box even as a teenager on a Friday night. While it wasn’t always easy, I believed wholehearted in what I was doing. As uu’s we are reminded that our own living tradition draws from "Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love," Clearly we are asked to stand outside the box.

On a somewhat lighter note, How many of us have opened our heart to something completely new? Once again I would like to share an experience from my own life. While in college I was an intern in Walt Disney World in Orlando. Actually I worked at a Mac Donald’s like restaurant in the Magic Kingdom and attended business seminars taught by the Disney Company. I even have a ductorate degree hanging up besides my Masters degree in my office. I remember to this day saying goodbye to my parents. Were they more nervous or was I? After all, I had chosen to go to college a safe 30-minute train ride away…but off I went to Florida to live in a condo with 5 other women from across the country and meet 200 other college students. For the first time, I didn’t have any of those responsibilities I mentioned before. — in fact I was forced to interact with my peers. Up until this point, I had always been surrounded by people older than me, I had always felt too mature for my own peers. I was now discovering the freedom that many people often discover as a young adult. Luckily, I had developed the foundation to not go to "crazy," but I certainly enjoyed myself and made some memories of a lifetime. Some of those memories are pure fear - Will I be accepted? Will they like me? Will I like them? What if I don’t do a good job? Wait a minute, am I talking about a 12 year old, 20 year old or 40 year old? Oh yes, I was talking about myself as a 20 year old but you can imagine how those fears are not uncommon to anyone when faced with something new. My guess is that even if they are not blatant fears, they are there somewhere… if not I want the person on my side in a game of poker. Do you remember the first time you stepped out on your own and did something new? For some of you I know I am asking you to think about many years ago, while for others it may be a just a few years or maybe for some just yesterday? No matter when it was, you may remember the fear, the excitement, and the hope that it would all work out. As Unitarians we enjoy and encourage exploration, personal development and embrace new opportunities. Just take a moment to look through and really read the monthly bulletine and notice the wide range of adult education programs.

Now on to the challenge of discovering and maintaining what is really important in life escpecially in light of 9/11. By the way, in order to do this I think you do need to be open minded, be willing to stand outside the box and ready to accept something new into your life. First - I propose what really isn’t important is a person’s vocation. When you are in a social situation with new people or even old friends what is the first thing said more often than not to start a conversation "What do you do?" I once had a friend tell me when she was asked this question she would respond by saying, "I read a lot, spend time with my family, hike and ski… well, you get the point. When possible, I try not to focus on a person’s vocation when first meeting someone, but I admit it is difficult. . I am all too aware of all of the people who may not be working by choice or by consequence. What about the mothers and even some fathers who have the opportunity to stay home with their children (I know from personal experience that that work is never ending)? What about the young and not so young retirees? Or the person just downsized? Or the 45 year old that is going back to school because they got fired. How do you imagine that person feels when asked, "so what do you do?" Maybe you do not have to imagine; maybe you are or have been that person. Being an educator, an investment banker, an administrative assistant doesn’t tell me much about a person. Behavior, actions and words tell me much more. Through these qualities we learn if a person is friendly, compassionate, fair and kind. Those are the things I propose are more important than any vocation.

Secondly, A more recent example that illustrates for me the importance of examining what is truly important is the New York Times acclaimed series of portraits of those who died on September 11, 2001. The following portrait describes the wife of one of my former supervisors who died saving others in her company.

"Aylene the director of human resources for Fiduciary Trust Company, was on the 90th floor of 2 World Trade when the first plane hit, but she went up to the 97th, because she thought it was her responsibility to get everybody out. It was particularly difficult to get the people in technical support out, because they were backing things up. As the floor filled with smoke, she called her husband, Jack. Her husband said. "She and a colleague made a determination to wet their clothing and put it over their heads and get to the stairwell. She said she loved the kids and we said we loved each other and we said goodbye." "At least we got to say goodbye," he said. "So many didn't. And I know she did something decent. The chair of Fiduciary told me at least 40 people are alive because of Alayne." She was 44, had been married for 23 years and lived in N.J. She taught Bible school for nine years and loved Billy Joel and Louie Prima. Her two sons, are 12 and 8. Asked about treasured moments, her husband offers two experiences years apart. "We loved the ocean. Our first kiss was on the beach on N.J. It was a beautiful moonlit night, full moon, and thousands of horseshoe crabs were coming up on the beach to lay their eggs. Then years later "Our son is part of a group of junior Sunfish sailors and they had a junior moonlight race. A bunch of kids gathered with boats, some decorated with little glow lights, in this beautiful, still, moonlit night. We had this feeling, in this excruciating slow race, of something of incredible beauty. One of those times in life you'll remember."

Hers and almost all of the portraits mention only in passing where the person worked or what they did. But you certainly have a portrait of who Aylene was.

That one-day has caused so many people to reexamine their life and ask what is really important. What breaks my heart is that it took a horrific national tragedy to help remind us. My other concern is that we will forget this lesson too quickly. How many of you re-examined you priorities but as time has passed find you are back into the same day to day routine and pressures? It is a challenge to truly make the commitment to those priorities in your life and even more challenging to maintain them. I propose it is a challenge worth accepting.

Whenever you are confronted with the challenge to be open minded or asked to stand outside the box, or to accept something new into your life and of course when you identify and sustain what is really important to you know that you are in good company in the family of all souls a wonderful Unitarian Universalists congregation. A place you will find kindred spirits and support for you to confront these or any other challenges in your life.

In closing, let me say once again, what a great privilege it has been to serve such a wonderful group of people. Above all, I am so proud of how all of us together responded to 9/11. One thing is for sure: I leave the presidency of this church more grateful than ever a "member of the great family of All Souls." Thank you for your support and encouragement throughout this amazing and challenging year.

Amen.

 

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